Today our criteria was to write a poem in a specific genre and do it from a character's perspective of the book we were reading for our novel study. I did it from Felix perspective when he had just found Zelda the previous night and had taken cover in the hay stack, but in the morning a party of Jews were on the road. I hope that you enjoy reading it and tell me if there is anything I can improve for next time.
The haystack was hard enough it had,
Sharp hay stabbing, a thick hedge and damp fields surrounding it,
An unlucky crowd was staggering past, nasty natzies were rushing them and a small notebook was luring unwanted attention,
A worried boy was thinking, a tough natzie was aiming and a scared little girl was sitting still,
Scared, frightened terrified,
Doing everything important.
Hi Sophie,
ReplyDeleteNice poem! I liked how you described the scene that you were in.
Emma
RM4
Drummond
Hi Sophie
ReplyDeleteI really like you poem I think that you put a lot of detail into it and it sounds really good.
Charlottte
Year 8
Drummond Primary School
Kia ora Charlotte
DeleteThanks for commenting. it was a lovely comment thank you for the feed back.
Hi Sohpie
ReplyDeleteI like your poem when you discribe the scene
ANgelo
RM4
Drummond Primary School
Kia Ora Sophie,
ReplyDeleteIt seems like the book you were reading for novel study was great. Your poem was amazing and it was sort of in a way soothing. I think that next time you should maybe proof read.
Kind Regards
Julia
Yaldhurst Model School
Kia Ora Sophie
ReplyDeleteI really liked your poem how you described the scenario but one thing to work on would be to describe the setting a bit more.
Cormac
Year 6
Drummond Primary School
Kia Ora Sophie
ReplyDeleteI really like the strong verbs you have used for impact
Thanks for sharing
Hi Sophie, My name is Abby and I go to Yaldhurst Model School. I like your poem. Next time can you try to find a image that explains that and do it on a slide to decorate it.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your poem about once.
what will you do to improve it?
Next step you should write some more.
Hi Sophie,
ReplyDeleteI really like your poem. Maybe next time proof read it and make sure it makes full sense.
Laura,
Yaldhurst Model School
Hi Sophie!
ReplyDeleteI really liked your poem, It shows that you really understand the story and I especially liked the part about how a small notebook was luring unwanted attention,it showed that the notebook had some importance. What is the book? I would really like to read it.
Thanks!
From Hannah
Yaldhurst Model School
Hi Sophie,
ReplyDeleteI love your poem because it gives me a big idea of what your novel study book is about. I also love your use of description in your blog post.
This poem reminds me of a book I read, called 'The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas' because in that book, it mentions Natzis and Jews just like it does in your poem.
Maybe next time you could check your blog post before you post it, and check if the punctuation is right.
Thanks,
Ariana, Yaldhurst Model School.
Hi sophie
ReplyDeleteI like your poem because it shows that you really understand the story. It is a good story to read at home at school or anywhere. I like it because it is really long and smart.
Thanks,
Hunter, Yaldhurst Model School.
I've improved my comment:
ReplyDeleteHi Sophie,
I love your poem because it gives me a big idea of what your novel study book is about. I also love your use of description in your blog post. My Favourite sentence in your poem is ‘An unlucky crowd was staggering past’. What is the name of the book you are reading?
This poem reminds me of a book I read, called 'The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas' because in that book, it mentions Natzis and Jews just like it does in your poem. Have you read ‘The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas’ Before?
Maybe next time you could check your blog post before you post it, and check if the punctuation is right.
Thanks,
Ariana, Yaldhurst Model School.
I have improvd my comment to you,To improve you could make the story longer because it was exciting and I would like to no more about the story.
ReplyDeleteI have improvd my comment to you: To improve you could make the story longer because it was exciting and I would like to no more about the story
ReplyDeleteHi sophie
I like your poem because it shows that you really understand the story. It is a good story to read at home at school or anywhere. I like it because it is really long and smart. I have improvd my comment to you,To improve you could make the story longer because it was exciting and I would like to no more about the story. Your poem made me feel happy and worried as well.
Thanks,
Hunter, Yaldhurst Model School